Worst Consin

Such fucking bullshit.

So I load up the Scion, crank up the Pantara and set the ETA to 9am. Enough time to hit registration, check out the competition, oil up my legs and still put a hurtin' on both Masters Races. But shit just ain't right from the get-go. My sugar-free no-whip honey latte spilled all over my lap, I missed the exit first time 'round, and the joint looked dead. No clip-clop of shoes, no parking lot full of bike racks, no sea of colorful lycra, no neon cones or overweight officials.

After a lot of dicking around, I learn from Randall at Randall's Frozen Custard that the whole shootin' match got cancelled. Fo shiz, asses? I tell Randall to get his head out of the freezer and proceed to make some huffy phone calls and finally get in contact with some asshole from Team Polska, who says, yea, dick nut, the race is off due to excessive snow and ice on the course.

Well, I was on the M F-ing course and I see 50 degrees and a whole lot of sun. Dude says, well, I really apologize, but we did all we could to... I hung up at that point because the dude was obviously a loser. I head back to Randall's Frozen Custard and ask where I can find a good group ride. Or a unsanctioned race? Randall tells me about the beauty of the Sheboygan marina and the National Parks I should see as long as I was there.

But who gives a fuck about Kohler National Park? I was there to drink Powerade and kick ass. And I was running low on Powerade.

Anyway, it was all bloody, dirty, asshole bullshit. I was totally looking forward to my first WCA points of the year and my free spaghetti meal.

Fon du Lac and Osh Kosh Cycleries, Team Polska, Xcel Training and Cannondale can all suck the big one.